The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
