My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
