Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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