she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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