D3 body, D1 cock
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
