i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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