The maid of honor just puked.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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