Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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