Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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