sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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