I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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