That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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