You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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