OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
