dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
