God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize