Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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