the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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