I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
