Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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