SEEEEXXX PLEASE
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
