he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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