Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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