I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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