Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
