Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
