I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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