my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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