He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
