She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
