Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
