he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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