i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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