Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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