ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
