I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
