I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
