your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
