Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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