the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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