Porn is love you can see.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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