I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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