First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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