Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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