I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Small penises have feelings too.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
