Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize