On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize