Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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