Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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