Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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