He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
