Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize