Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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