so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
