I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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