I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
