after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
