cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
