How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
