Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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