I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
