So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ladies don't puke and tell
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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