He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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