fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize