absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
