You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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